A Christmas Parrot
by Cradlerobber Speedo-kun
Summary: Jay's always had problems. He certainly didn't need a bothersome parrot to add to it all. Implied slash, minor swearing, and a Christmas theme.


A/N: I've noticed that as of late the Degrassi section has been severely lacking in humor. True, the show hasn't exactly been humorous lately, but even so we all need a little laugh. So why not have a little implied slashy humor? I know you love it. You wouldn't be looking at this if you didn't. ;)

**A Christmas Parrot**

It was early in the morning, considering that school vacation had come and that Christmas had occurred only the day prior, but Sean Cameron was already over at Jay Hobart's apartment. He hadn't come bearing a gift, and wasn't expected to either. He had just come to get the wreath Jay had borrowed to get the neighbor to stop crabbing at him. The old man next door had knocked on Jay's door every day since December 1st, yelling through the door that he needed a wreath, since otherwise he was going to hell.

Now, normally, Jay would've ignored this. Or done something like vandalize the man's door. But he finally was worn down with irritation at the man's action, and put a bedraggled wreath up just to get the man to go away. When he had asked Sean if he had a wreath, and mutteringly explained why, it had struck Sean as distinctively un-Jay-like, but he hadn't said anything. He wordlessly handed him a wreath he had made as a small child in school, and didn't care when Jay left without a good bye or thank you.

But now that Christmas was over, Sean wanted to wreath back. And Jay wanted it gone. So, the normal sleeping in on a day off rules were ignored, and when Sean appeared at the door at 11 o'clock, Jay had only been too eager to let him in and give him the offending piece of decoration.

Sean now stood in the living room, and Jay had retreated to one of the rooms. He had jammed the wreath away in the spare room the moment he knew the old man had gone to bed and wouldn't complain any more. The very fact that a Christmas decoration had graced his door pissed Jay off. Alex, of course, saw it fit to make sneering comments about it at every opportunity, and although Towerz never said a damn thing about it, he could see from the look that Towerz gave the wreath that he, too, found it singularly amusing.

Sean had noticed something peculiar, and completely out of place, in Jay's living room. He eyed it carefully, before calling out to Jay, "Hey, how come there's a parrot in here?" Jay, at the moment, was half-jammed under a cot, trying to reach where the offending wreath had been tossed the evening before. He swore under his breath at Sean's seeming stupidity, and didn't bother to respond. Sean didn't mind, though, as this was Jay's general way of responding to stuff he thought was too stupid to waste his breath on.

When he finally walked into the living room, wreath in hand, Sean was laughing, something he suddenly realized he wished he saw more often (1). Sean pointed to the parrot, which was in the middle of a rendition of Silver Bells, "This things friggin' hilarious. It's been singing Christmas carols with your name and other people's names in it ever since I noticed it in the corner." Jay scowled, "I know, it does that thing every fucking night." He tossed the wreath at Sean, who easily caught it, "Who's is it anyway?"

"Neighbors'."

An eyebrow raised by Sean, "Oh."

Another scowl from Jay, "They're paying me $25 a day to look after it."

A look of suprise, "Geez, that's crazy."

"And they're gone for two weeks."

A shake of the head, "People are crazy. Just to look after a bird? You just have to feed it."

"And clean its cage."

It was all Sean could do to keep himself from laughing at that. The idea of Jay Hobart, of all people, cleaning a birdcage was almost incomprehensible. Definitely not something he probably let many people know. Jay suddenly looked very flushed and vaguely embarassed at having Sean know that he had cleaned a birdcage, but before he could say anything scathing in his defense, the bird began an ear-piercing version of 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'.

_ "I saw Jaaaay kissing Homochuk,_

_ Underneath the mistletoe last nightttt…"_

Sean stared at the bird first, and then Jay. In the moment he was looking at the bird, he could've sworn he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Jay tearing down something green and leafy from the doorway, but couldn't be sure because whatever it was was gone by the time he looked at Jay. Jay quickly threw a sheet over the birdcage, "Stupid bird, Lel's (2) always trying to teach it to say the most dumbass things."

But despite the sheet, the bird continued to trill onwards about Jay and… Homochuk. When the bird began singing an interesting version of 'All I Want for Christmas is You', Jay picked the birdcage up, sheet and all, and jammed it in a closet, saying evenly, "I think it needs some fresh air."

Sean stared at the closet door (3), and then returned his gaze to Jay. Jay's habitual scowl returned, "Hey, what are you looking at? Don't you have something to do, like give your vampire girlfriend a blow job for Boxing Day (4)? Get the fuck out of here, I have stuff to do that does not involved your staring at me like a friggin' lovestruck fairy."

Sean finally shifted towards the door, and left, allowing it to creak slowly shut behind him. But the parrot's carol echoed in his mind, and Sean couldn't help but wonder if maybe parrots always told the truth after all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(1) Hmm… I guess you can interpret this however you want, although I was more going for something along the lines of the fact that Jay realizes that Sean isn't happy a lot as opposed to Jay secretly lusting for Sean. But, hey, you interpret it however you'd like.

(2) See Less Than Zero. Lel's just some guy I made up and added to Jay's gang to give him more gangsta buddies, and he appears frequently in Less Than Zero. He's pretty stupid.

(3) Hehe… P

(4) Boxing Day is December 26th, and is celebrated (or at least just recognized) in the UK and places the UK had significant influence over for a while, such as New Zealand, Australia, and Canada. I honestly don't know how much of an actual existence it has in Canada now, but it was traditionally the day when people gave their servants presents.

(5) Yeah, I know there is no '5' in the text, but I thought I'd point out that the title of this piece is a pun of 'A Christmas Carol'. The fact that the parrot sings Christmas carols further pushes this across.


End file.
